Have integrity – do what you say and say what you do! Build trust with the people you work with.
FOCUS, according to Bill Gates and Warren Buffett is the number one attribute you require in life to achieve success.
Have a goal (SMART goals)
Make a plan with specific measurable milestones
Take action. Start taking action on the first step in your milestone list.
Failure is a milestone, not a destination. Persistence, consistency is essential until you achieve your goal.
Never doubt your ability to achieve success. In Warren Buffet’s words “I always knew I was going to be rich. I never doubted it for a minute.” Believe in yourself!!!
One of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life is who you choose as your life partner.
You want to associate with people who are the kind of people you would like to be.
Ultimately – they will have the most influence on you in the long term and this includes your career.
A study done in St Louis by Brittany Sullivan and Joshua Jackson at Washington University has shown us that having a conscientious spouse who is involved in the career of the other spouse can boost one’s salary significantly.
Because conscientiousness means taking the time to involve oneself in the activities that allow the other partner to flourish.
This attentive attention comes across as support.
People with a conscientious partner are 60% more likely to become promoted and flourish in succeeding at their long term goals.
Faith G Harper is a counsellor, therapist, hypnotherapist.
Anger is normal and there to give you an important message. Are you listening?
9 anger triggers
–life threatening– fight for your lie.
–insult, disrespect – when we perceive disruption of social order, who threatens our status
–family – we will all protect our family
-environment– we are all wired to protect our territory
–mate – in order to have children, build a legacy we need a mate. It is natural to want to protect your mate.
–order in society – our survival is interdependent on social order, social system. People who rock the boat trigger a fear response=they
–resources – humans will go to great lengths to protect their resources
–tribe – people will protect their people against others. Resource depletion. Border walls. Gang violence..war
– stopped – all humans will respond to restraint preventing them from freedom. Expression of free will
Anger starts from AHEN (acronym)
A = Anger emerges from
H = HURT
E = Expectations not met
N = NEEDS not met
How to use ahen
Am I hurt?
Did something happen here that made me feel undervalued?
Why the hurt? Did I have Expectations not met? Was it a realistic expectation?
Is it life changing?
Was it a reasonable expectation? Did I have needs that were not met?
When the person we needed to most feel safe did something to make us question that safety… we need a community that loves us silly and makes us feel safe.
Anger provides the energy for change the anger we don’t allow to express acknowledge makes us sick
Managing anger, communicating anger and exercising forgiveness.
Riding the wave technique
Think of each emotion as a wave crashing on the shore
We can’t stop them from coming.
Experience your feelings. You are not your feelings. They are something you experience.
Develop an understanding with your feelings. Just accept its existence.
Acknowledging anger. Admitting and owning through emotional state. “I feel” statement.
Focusing on our victimhood strengthens the perpetrator abuser for years after .
If we instead focus on our capacity for survival and overcoming adversity it lessons the power those people have over us.
Let’s SOLVE your problem. Get out of your emotional mind and into a cerebral analysis.
S – STATE YOUR PROBLEM. DETAIL SPECIFICALLY
O – OUTLINE YOUR RESPONSE. USUAL RESPONSE. WHO WHAT WHERE WHY WHEN HOW
L – LIST ALL YOUR POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS. ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS. COME UP
V – VISUALISE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSEQUENCES. WHAT ARE ALL THE LONG AND SHORT TERM OUTCOMES.
E – EVALUATE YOUR RESULTS. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES? DO YOU NEED TO REASSESS
physiological anger responses.
Singing. Come up with a story of anger.
Humor. Genuine silliness
Intentional breathing exercises
Yoga tai chi chi jong
Mindfulness meditation works on everyone
Forgiveness is selfish as fuck. Nothing wrong with selfishness and demonstrating self care.
Use that energy to go change the world in bad-ass ways.
It’s not about eating shit to keep the peace
It’s about holding stronger boundaries in the future.
How do you know there is something to forgive?
Do you find yourself stuck in the story of the event?
Do you focus on the negative feelings from the past versus the great feelings you experience now
Your past does not have to be your identity.
2. Feel your anger and pain and share that story with someone safe. “We can’t forgive what we can’t acknowledge” … don’t spiritual bypass by saying things like “everything happens for a reason”… Recognise, acknowledge and work through. Have self-compassion
STRATEGIES FOR FORGIVENESS 1. Ceremony. Hold ceremony to let go.
3. Find the helpers and the givers, not the enablers.. B around people
4. Consider the attribution process. Find the non-personal in the circumstances. We tend to see that we were good despite our errors but see others behaviors as caused by their core badness. Become curious like a social scientist –
5. Be specific about what happened to you.
6. Justice has nothing to do with forgiveness.
7. Don’t mix forgiveness with reconciliation. Just because your
Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill is a wonderful all time favourite.
To kick start 2023 on the right foot AlphaMama is discussing the secrets as well as potential pitfalls held within it’s pages.
If you want to kickstart your year (with many countries globally set for a significant recession) with the right mindset and an elbow greased with your best ‘can-do’ attitude then this is the book you are looking for!!
10 qualities that are shared by all high achievers
They have a strong well defined sense of purpose; they know what they want.
They seek out positive role models for inspiration and learning.
They use sensory rich visions and a vivid imagination to set the stage for their own achievement
They have a positive sensory orientation, they expect to succeed rather than fail.
They have a deep rooted belief in their ability to achieve. They are immeasurably self-assured.
They have the ability to plan and organise. They can break down what they want to achieve into manageable steps – prioritising the important steps first.
They know how and why to acquire the essential knowledge and skills. They are not intimidated by the thought of having to learn something new.
They have patience. The passing of time doesn’t bother them. They will keep working towards their goal for as long as it takes.
They persevere. They’re stubborn and they don’t give up, even when the going gets rough.
They view work as pleasure. Work is bringing them closer and closer to the goal that will be their final reward.
WHAT IS THE FORCE THAT MOTIVATES HIGH ACHIEVERS????
The ability to use their imagination….
Begins journey The successful self-disciplined achiever asks himself “if I can have whatever I want, what is my purpose?”
When she has worked out her purpose she uses her imagination to develop a sensory rich image that will evoke an emotion so strong that she is driven to bring it to action.
And when she has achieved the goal, she uses the vision to create new goals. A Self disciplined achiever never stops….
Seven keys to self-discipline
Firststep is to have a purpose. Create a purpose. Define a cause that you can wholeheartedly devote your time, resources and att4ention. This cause points you in a direction. It gives you a reason to get out of bed ihn the morning.
2nd step – find role models who have already achieved what you want to achieve. Study their life patterns, methods and techniques. They are normal people like you but with self-discipline. You will start feeling emotions
3rd step translate your desire into a sensory rich vision of success. Touch taste sight sound in front of you. You know you can do it.
4th step – they share an all-encompassing passion and emotion for their goal or desire.
5th step – planning. Through effective planning you can plan out the steps you need to take to turn your vision into a reality. You will figure out exactly what you need to do to accomplish your goal and how long it will take…
6th step is to acquire skills to make your plan a success. Each time you master a skill your confidence in your ability to achieve your goal increases.
7th step – persistence and perseverance. Persistence is staying with your vision no matter how long it takes and to persevere despite any setbacks.
HOW DO YOU FIND A PURPOSE???
4 Point Exercise:
POINT 1 Limitless wishing.
Close your eyes. Imagine you are on a beach walking along the sand.
A soft breeze is keeping you cool, and you are enjoying the waves splashing rhythmically along the shore.
As you stroll along the water’s edge, you see an object in the distance that is half buried in the sand. The waves splash over its surface leaving it exposed to your curious eyes. You hasten towards it to see what it is before it is engulfed by the following waves.
In a couple of minutes, you are standing over it, still not sure what it is. It’s metal, somewhat round like an old lamp. You dig your fingers into the wet sand and pull it out.
There is an inscription on the side of the object, but you cant read it clearly. You begin to rub some of the sand away to read the inscription and suddenly it starts releasing a cloud of what looks like steam or gas.
You drop it. Slowly before your eyes a genie takes form. When he speaks his voice is kind. He thanks you for releasing him from hundreds of years of captivity. He offers you a reward for helping him he offers you 5 wishes. You can wish for anything you want as long as it is specific and humanly possible to achieve.
Think long and hard about it – what are the things that would turn your life around and make you truly happy. What it is it you secretly wish for day in and day out. Write it down in present tense starting with “I want”:
1. I want health and fitness of professional elite athlete levels so that I feel amazing and self-disciplined and have the ability to achieve great physical feats and live a long healthy life.
2. I want amazing relationships that include a loving husband and a few beautiful children, loving family connections and amazing friendships to share my life with.
3. I want to independently earn enough money through my contribution to society that I never have to worry about money or finances ever again and I have enough resources to help others, give to others, and support others on their journey.
4. I want to be an extremely successful business woman that inspires all women everywhere to embrace their power, find their purpose, and follow their personal dreams and ambitions to achieve holistic success in their lves.
5. I want to be an innovation leader, I want to achieve greatness by completing transforming the political landscape to reflect humanism, love, humanity, empowerment, sustainability, wholeness, vulnerability as strength.
POINT 2 WISHFUL IMAGINING
Close your eyes again. Imagine that your first wish has come true. Imagine what your life looks like now. What kind of clothes you would wear, people you would hang out with, house you would live in, what are you eating for breakfast and dinner. Maybe you have a private swimming pool, new career or new friends.
Imagine you are having dinner and drinks with your best friend, and you are explaining how your new life feels. This is a friend you can trust completely so you can say anything. Imagine what you look like – are you younger, thinner, better dressed? Is your friend looking envious? Picture every single detail – including the season, the place, the restaurant, to the glasses on the table.
Repeat for every one of the 5 wishes you wrote down.
POINT 3 Creative Biography
When amazing people pass away they often leave a legacy … people write their biography or eulogy.
What do you value above all else?
What would you like to be remembered for?
Open a history book and turn to the first letter of your last name:
You find your entry. It is a brief summary of your life and your greatest achievements.
What does it say?
POINT 4 What do I deep in my heart really want to do? What is my purpose in life?
You will now write down your statement of purpose.
First write a statement of purpose for another. Imagine..
George Washington: I would like to use all of my strength, intelligence, resources to secure liberty and freedom for all of my colonists.
Amelia Airheart: When I grow up I am going to have adventures and show the world that women can be as heroic as men.
People tend to find their mentors in 2 ways.
Indirectly – through books, films, articles
Directly through spending time and observing the mentors behaviour.
Autobiographies, magazines, articles, biographies. Inspirational films and tv shows.
– Who did you admire most?
– what inspired a throb of recognition? A resonance:?
– a fictional character? Who do you greatly admire and wish you could be like??
Heroes and heroines who claw their way to success… vision driven with emotion and purpose.
Find people who have achieved what you want to achieve and ask yourself
What skills do i need?
How should i behave?
The people who achieve in their lives. What do they do? Networking. How do they deal with the highs and lows of life?
Quality of contacts you find –
Models directly – apprenticeship.
Most high achievers – mentor who can pass on his or her skills…
They too could easily perform like the idol they had… discovering their idols were human and fallible – they began to realise they could also achieve great things
CREATING A VISION OF SUCCESS
Sensory Goals – “magnificent obsession, burning desire to complete your purpose”
Take your statement of purpose and transform it into a SENSORY GOAL STATEMENT:
There are 3 key elements:
It must be result oriented, it must be primarily focused on what you want to get out of your achievement;
It must be TIME specific, you must determine a timeframe in which it will be achieved;
It must be Measurable, specify a criterion of when your goal is complete.
Sense of concrete reality, result and specific time frame fuels your drive towards success.
STEP 1 WRITE YOUR SENSORY GOAL STATEMENT
“In May 2023 I will run a 47 km marathon in under 5 hours at Wilsons Prom and be classed as an elite Athlete”
“In February 2023 I will win at least one gold medal in my division at Masters for Surf Lifesaving Victoria with Point Leo Surf Club”
“By July 2023 Ellison-Whyte Law will have an annual turnover of $500,000 Australian Dollars and will have a profit of at least $250,000 Australian dollars”
“By December 2023 Ellison-Whyte Law will win a nationally recognised award for innovation in the legal industry and I will become an industry leader”
What is your criterion for success?
If its to run a business – it might be when you move into your own office or hire your first staff member.
Having a measurable goal will help you determine whether you are achieving.
STEP 2 Your next step is to create a VISION OF ACHIEVEMENT
You can do this by finding photographs and images in magazines that show people living, experiencing and achieving your vision.
Eg. if your vision is to be a doctor, look for photograph’s of medical school graduation
If your vision is to be your own boss, find photos of people who own successful businesses. Look at business week, industry week, and specific trade publications for inspiration
If your vision is to run the boston marathon, take photocopies of newspaper clippings of people who have won the boston marathon, runners world, etc.
The purpose of this exercise is to create concrete images of your desired achievement so that you can visualise yourself achieving the goal “if you can see it, you can believe it, you can achieve it.”
Creating a vision achievement scrapbook that is tailored to you can have a powerful effect on your motivation and drive.
Devote some time today or this evening to locating these pictures. Continue to be on the look out for more.
STEP 3 make a listing of all the advantages and rewards you will experience as a result of achieving your goal. Close your eyes for a few minutes and imagine you have already achieved your goal –
How is your life different because of it?
What recognition have you achieved?
Has it made a difference with your family and friends?
Has it made an impact on other areas of your life?
Are you getting up at the same time in the morning, driving the same car to work, are you going out more/less in the evenings?
Wearing different clothes?
Write down every single outcome you can think of from the achievement of your goal. Don’t just write down the general rewards get as specific as possible.
STEP 4 – Sensory Vision – snapshot.
Draw a picture of what you will feel like, what you will see, what you can hear, see, feel, taste, smell.
NEXT – Record your sensory vision snap shot in your own words.
Daily Routine – every morning you will focus on your vision board. The vision board, the recording of the sensory goal description. Listen to the recording daily.
Take a few moments each day to visualise your vision
Listen to your sensory rich achievement every night before bed.
At the end of each day – REFLECT on what happened during the day and how it was targeted towards achieving your goal.
Record your vision over again every 2 weeks so that it stays relevant to your effort as you evolve.
ACTION PLAN –
Planning is the logical mapping out of where you want to go and how you are going to get there. Planning is going to help you save time.
There are 5 vital steps of a self-disciplined achiever that never quits or loses sight of their goal.
Rekindle and revisit your purpose every single day. Remind yourself daily of the rewards and benefits that await you when you successfully realise your goal. The emotion you draw from why you are working so hard and giving up so many things will sustain your powers of persistence and perseverance.
Firmly anchor the following attitude deep within your heart and mind: – “I can achieve anything I set my mind to. Nothing is impossible for me to achieve if I want it badly enough and I am willing to pay the price for it.” “I can and will achieve my goal” I will never forget that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.
Realise that obstacles are going to arise and set backs are going to occur. Keep in mind that these are actually opportunities to learn. Every obstacle you encounter, every set back you overcome, strengthens your character and makes you smarter an stronger. Whatever you do, don’t try to hide from or ignore problems. They never go away by themselves. Meeting challenges squarely and solving problems creatively is at the heart of self-discipline and at the heart of achievement. As Benjamin Franklin said, “those things that hurt, instruct”. When your progress seems blocked it means it is time to increase your knowledge and look for creative solutions.
You may be doing the wrong things for the right reasons. Now is the time to find out. Start experimenting with taking different paths to your destination but whatever you do, don’t quit. Most people quit when things don’t work out as they had planned or when they realise how much hard work they are going to have to do. A failure is someone who has not learned from their mistakes.
Turn your work into fun. Make what you have to do into something you want to do. Working towards a lifelong goal should feel like a sacrifice because that goal is what you want more than anything in the world.
If you follow these 5 steps diligently – your long road to success will turn into an exciting journey of knowledge, discovery, challenge and reward.
Set backs can bea real stitch however – there are 5 ways you can turn any set back into a positive as follows:
First, never try to ignore a problem or a handicap. Deal with your problems directly. Don’t avoid them or try to hide from them. When you have a problem, study it from all angles and try and determine the best way to proceed.
Second, don’t blame other people for your setbacks and don’t chalk it up to bad luck. You make your own luck in this life and you have to solve your own problems. Learn to tackle them head on, being as realistic as possible and as level headed as possible. Mentors can provide a great deal of help in a bad situation. Try acting as if you are your own mentor. What would he or she do in your situation or what has he/she already done to overcome an obstacle similar to yours.
Third, continually strive to strengthen your qualities of self-discipline. Set backs often occur because of weaknesses in certain areas. Try and turn those weaknesses into strengths. Be your own severest critic, but not your own worst enemy. Don’t tell yourself “I failed”, tell yourself “I slipped, but i am going to pick myself up and go on”.
Fourth, in almost every setback there is a seed of opportunity. A silver lining if you will. Find it and use it. You may find yourself taking a slightly different path to achieving your goal than you first imagined, but you will get there just the same. Take the new path and see where it leads you. Following this new path helps take the emotions sting out of set backs and is a healthier way to react to a bad situation than deciding to give up.
Fifth, remember no matter how insurmountable a problem may appear, there is always a solution. A problem is only really a problem if you think you can’t solve it. If you take the attitude that every problem has a solution and you approach your problem with an open and creative mind you will find the solution.
Luna Jaffre a Certified Financial Planner™, has never bought the common notion that one must sacrifice passion or forfeit creativity in order to get serious about money. Teacher, artist, entrepreneur, writer, and visionary
Scott Pape is an author, television presenter and radio commentator. He’s not a financial planner but finished his Bachelor of Business at La Trobe in 2001. He lives and works in the country and has a down to earth can do kind of attitude to life.
Morgan Housel was a financial columnest for the Motley Fool and Wall Street Journal. He is also the author of The Psychology of Money which has sold over one million copies. He is now a partner of the Collaborative Fund which is an investment firm focused on supporting and investing in the shared future.The firm’s funds focus on investments around two macro themes: the growth of the creative class, and the concept of the collaborative economy.
Why the Psychology of Money?
Morgan notes in his book, the Psychology of Money, that there is a lot of literature around budgeting and how to do finances but a lot of literature does not account for or focus on the fact that humans are irrational balls of emotion that do not behave in consistent, reliable ways. Many of our choices are formed via emotion and the way we feel – and we can see this reflected in how we choose to invest.
In his book (and article) he goes through 20 points on the psychology of money, looking at the concept of risk versus luck and reflecting on people who have a lot of things versus people who have wealth and how the wealthiest people in the world have exercised consistent investing over time to reach their fortunes.
I loved his analysis of Warren Buffet noting that Buffet started investing at the age of 10 years old. By the time he was 30 years old he had reached his first million. He mentioned that he has averaged returns of 22% over time and it is really TIME that is the critical element in his success. When you compound 22% returns over time, you quickly find you are snowballing wealth. Most of his fortune has come over the age of 60 years.
In the same vein he refers to Jim Simon’s who has made over a billion dollars from investing between 1988 until 2018. He achieved this by using quantified trading strategies, for the Medallion Fund and managed to return on average 66.1% gross before fees from 1988 until 2018. Jim Simon’s has been a more successful investor than Warren Buffet, however he has not been doing it for as long so ultimately it is TIME that is the secret to enormous amounts of wealth.
So what are the secret strategies to being a successful investor according to Housel?
Here are some of my favourite tips from the book:
If you spend your income on things, you will have things instead of wealth. In order to accumulate wealth you need to save money and invest it rather than spending it on items.
In order to have the grit and resilience to save wealth there is an element of not needing to be attached to status, greed, appearances, keeping up with the Jones’s. Recognising that status is an illusion, in the sense that when people look at you driving your expensive car they don’t think “Wow, who is that amazing person driving that expensive car?” They think “I wonder what I would look like if I was driving that expensive car”. Once you come to terms with the fact that no one else will care you can release your attachment to needing to meet some appearance to please others.
He notes it is likely that 80% of your investment success will be based on a small portion of your investment. So expect a lot of failure on your pathway to success. It’s like 99% failure and 1% success. There are a lot of quotes around this – even Michael Jordan notes he was so successful because he missed so many shots and lost so many games, he failed enough to succeed.Having enough. Being enough. Understanding that greed and risk, such as gambling at high stakes for high returns has led to many an investors downturn/demise. So – recognizing that you have enough. Your starting point should be “I am enough” “I have enough” so that you are making reasonable and rational investment decisions.On this note – only invest what you have – not what you don’t have.
Getting wealthy versus staying wealthy. Recognising there is one type of mindset to get wealthy versus staying wealthy once you get there.
“No one is Crazy” People are subject to their age, era they grew up in, the economy at the time of their lifetimes. We invest differently based
So recognising that sometimes success actually looks a lot like failure.
Compounding – consistently investing over time is where the results are at. Not being swayed by dips in the market. Staying the course with your strategy until you see results, instead of bailing at the first sign of hardship.
I think this book is a really great way to cut through some of the BS around investing and prime your mindset for what truly is grit and resilience necessary to become a successful investor.
Recognising that its not all roses and pretty pictures. That you may actually be investing for a really long time before you see results. That it takes perseverance, resilience, grit, determination. Starting from a place of being enough and not getting greedy for more than is necessary. Recognising that wealth and status aren’t the be all and end all – true wealth comes down to having your health, loving relationships, freedom, and what he stresses the most is TIME. Having freedom over how you spend your time is the ultimate wealth any human being can experience.
In order to succeed what you really need is consistency and self-discipline. We have recently visited with a friend in Darwin from the defence force and they shared a story about the army and how in the army they teach people a technique of survival which is about setting your parameters or the boundaries you require to survive and then sticking to those boundaries. All it takes is knowing what you want, setting the boundaries and then the self-discipline to stick to the strategy over time.
It’s great having you all on board! I look forward to catching up with you next week where we will be discussing creating a vision for your life!!